


Kimi Räikkönen's Shaving Workshops

by Quagswagging



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Crack, Cute, Facial Shaving, Fluff, Gen, Help, M/M, Multi, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-07-15 23:32:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16073681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quagswagging/pseuds/Quagswagging
Summary: Kimi gets fed up with some of the younger drivers' inability to shave their faces.And so he decided to do something about it.





	1. Max Verstappen

**Author's Note:**

> I have a really bad cold and feel like shit, but painkillers made me write this lol.  
> Also Max really doesn't seem to understand how a razor work so yeah...
> 
> I do plan on writing more of this, so let me know what young driver to included next!
> 
> (Also I need to change the relationship tag to Max & Kimi instead of Max/Kimi but my phone wouldn't let me yet :/ )

“Kimi?” Max asked almost incredulously as he opened the door. Kimi gave a curt nod and wordlessly brushed past him, into Max’s apartment.

“Come in.” Max said sarcastically, before quickly smiling angelically as Kimi raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

“So…” Max said awkwardly, unsure what the Finn was even doing here. Kimi rubbed a finger over the side of his nose, seemingly contemplating something. Then he held out a plastic bag in Max’s general direction. 

Max blinked and walked over, taking the bag from him.

“Thanks for the… razors..?” Max frowned, looking at the array of razor blades and an electric razor inside. Kimi nodded.

“Thought it was time.” he murmured. Max only got more confused.

“For what?” he asked with a small frown. Kimi pointedly looked at the younger man’s cheeks and chin.

“For someone to teach you how to shave.” the Finn deadpanned. Max frowned and huffed.

“I know how to shave.” he grumbled, dropping the bag onto his couch. Kimi walked closer and poked his cheek.

“Yeah I can see that.” he said. Max huffed.

“I just forgot, okay?” he said, his cheeks turning slightly pink. Kimi raised an eyebrow.

“Uhuh.” he murmured, taking Max’s wrist and grabbing the bag from the couch. “Bathroom?” he asked. Max knew better than to object and pointed at the right door.

Kimi pushed him towards the sink and set some items out next to him. 

“So…” it was Kimi’s turn to be awkward now. He cleared his throat and got can of shaving foam, handing it to Max.

“Put it on.” he said, or rather, ordered. Max, not wanting to go down without a fight, narrowed his eyes at the Finn and simply pressed the whole can against his cheek. 

Kimi sighed and took the can back, muttering something under his breath in Finnish. He took the cap of the can and squirted some of the foam onto his own hand. Max immediately took a step back.

“No…” he squeaked. Kimi caught the back of his head with one hand and used the other hand to spread the foam over Max’s cheek, simply ignoring the way Max was glaring at him.

“Would have been easier if you hadn’t tried to sass me.” Kimi simply remarked. Max huffed but allowed the older man to spread the foam further over his cheeks and chin.

“All done.” Kimi said after a moment, patting his cheek a last time. He quickly washed his hands and handed Max a razor.

“I’m not going to do this for you too.” he grumbled, folding his arms over his chest. Max huffed and shuffled a little closer to the mirror, trying to ignore the way Kimi was still staring at him as he brought the razor to his cheek.

The first half of his face went just fine, because really, this wasn’t the first time he had shaved. But when he was really nearly done, just a small area of his left cheek left to go, the razor slipped and Max hissed as it drew blood. Kimi tutted and immediately pressed a tissue against his cheek.

“Well done.” he said, an almost teasing edge to his voice. 

“Shut up.” Max answered, blushing a deep red as Kimi finished the last few swipes, pausing sometimes to wipe away the drops of blood. Max thought the embarrassment had finally ended, but Kimi took his time spreading some soothing gel over his face, before also placing a bandaid over the cut on Max’s cheek.

“All done.” he mused, ruffling Max’s hair. Max glared of another moment, before hesitating.

“Thanks?” he murmured, holding out his hand. Kimi eyed his hand for a moment and then raised his eyebrow. Max worried his lip between his teeth but then shuffled forward, wrapping his arms around the Finn’s chest and cuddling close for a moment. Kimi securely wrapped his arms around Max, rubbing his back a little. 

“Thanks Kimi.” Max repeated quietly.

“No problem.” the Finn answered. 

Kimi pulled away again and took the bag, leaving a couple of razors and a can of foam on the sink.

“Well I better get going.” Kimi murmured. “Still need to visit Charles and Pierre and… yeah a couple of others.” an amused smirk was playing on Kimi’s lips now. 

“Bye Max.” he said as he headed for the door. Max gave him a small wave in return.

“Bye Kimi.” Max answered. He waited until Kimi had closed the door behind him before rushing to the couch to grab his phone. He scrolled through his Whatsapp before he found the right group:  
‘The Cool Dudezz of F1’ and send a quick message.

‘HIDE.’


	2. Pierre Gasly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is too amusing to write xD  
> Buuuut, will Fernando somehow get involved too..?

Pierre went through some serious internal panic and a few existential crisises when he read the message Max had send to the group. The ‘HIDE’ had been confusing, but Max brief explanation afterwards had been clear.

Pierre had to shave, and fast.

He stumbled as he rushed to his bathroom, searching through his toiletry bag for his razors.

“Fuck fuck fuck.” he cursed when he couldn’t find them, turning the bag upside down to spill the contents over the floor. He reached for his phone again and switched to the group chat.

‘Can’t find my razors, anyone around to help?’ he typed quickly. 

‘Nope you’re on ur own.’ Max answered immediately, clearly still grumpy after his own encounter with the Finn (and since Pierre might have laughed about it a little, which wasn’t exactly tactical).. 

‘Nooope.’ Esteban said, and Pierre had to resist giving him a middle finger emoji in answer, almost able to see the amused grin the other Frenchman would probably have on his face.

‘You’ll live, Kimi is very sweet :3’ Charles send them. Pierre huffed at the Monégasque’s innocence and put his phone down on the sink. He should have known they would be useless.

The bell rang and Pierre stilled. He tried to regain some composure before hurrying over.

“Hello Kimi.” he greeted awkwardly. Kimi took one look at his frightened expression on Pierre’s face and sighed.

“Max told you.” he stated, rather than asking. Pierre nodded and squeaked as Kimi pushed past him. 

“Bathroom?” Kimi asked. Pierre blinked and closed the front door behind him.

“...I don’t have a bathroom..?” Pierre tried. Kimi sighed in exasperation, to which Pierre lowered his eyes.

“Second door on the right.” he murmured. Kimi nodded curtly and moved in direction of the bathroom, Pierre nervously trailing after him. 

“What the hell did you do?” Kimi asked, looking at the mess in the room. Pierre shrugged.

“I eh… was looking for my razor.” he murmured. Kimi’s eyes fell to Pierre’s phone on the sink, the screen lighting up with another message.

“The Cool Dudezz of F1?” Kimi said with a snort. Pierre quickly took his phone and put it in his pocket.

“Not my idea.” he squeaked. Kimi hummed.

“Sure…” he muttered, giving Pierre a slightly amused look. “Pretty sure there would be a couple of drivers offended at not being one of the ‘Cool Dudezz’” he mused.

“Please don’t tell anyone.” Pierre said with a wince. Kimi waved a bottle of shaving foam in his direction.

“I won’t, if you behave at least.” Kimi told him. Pierre let out a soft sigh, but put some of the foam on his hand, starting to spread it over his face. 

“You should really help Stoffel next…” Pierre mused cheekily. Kimi raised an eyebrow and spread the foam a little further over Pierre’s jaw with two fingers. 

“Already throwing your friends under the bus…” Kimi chuckled. Pierre blushed a little.

“I don’t like his stubble when we… you know.” he murmured softly. Kimi raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t even want to know.” he said, handing Pierre a razor. Pierre held it a little uncomfortably, making Kimi snort.

“You really don’t know how to shave?” he asked. Pierre huffed.

“I do, but I normally use an electric razor…” he grumbled. Kimi sighed and adjusted Pierre’s hold on the razor.

“As long as you don’t slice your throat, you’ll be fine.” he said. Pierre was unsure what to do with that kind of advice, but wasn’t about to ask Kimi to ask what the hell he meant. He brought the razor to his cheek a little hesitantly, but found it wasn’t as difficult as he had figured. Kimi watched carefully, a bandage at the ready just in case.

Pierre made no mistakes and beamed in an adorably proud way once he had finished. Kimi patted some soothing gel om Pierre’s face afterwards, trying not to smile as the Frenchman wrinkled up his nose a little.

“All done.” Kimi murmured. Pierre grinned and promptly hugged him tightly,, resting his freshly shaved cheek against Kimi’s shoulder.

“Thank you!” he said. Kimi smiled and patted the younger man’s fluffy hair.

“No problem.” he answered gently. “So, Stoffel next, right?” he added, an amused smile playing on his lips again as he pulled away. Pierre blushed slightly but then nodded.

“I thought Nando would have taught him by now, but I guess a Spaniard with a beard wouldn’t be a very good teacher.” he chuckled. Kimi collected his stuff and nodded thoughtfully, winking at Pierre as he passed.

“I’ll see what I can do.” he mused, before walking out the door again. 

Pierre reached for his phone and tapped to the group chat.

“Waffle better watch out.” he typed. Charles immediately send laughing emojis in return, while Stoffel seemed a little more panicked.

“Okay, that’s it. Imma ask Nando to adopt me, he’ll protect me from this horror.” he said. Pierre snorted.

‘Try what you want, Kimi WILL find you.’ he send, followed by a devil emoji. He really did hope Kimi would have Stoffel shave, but knew there really was no where for the Belgian to hide.

Everyone’s favourite Belgian Waffle WILL have to shave.


	3. Stoffel Vandoorne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are way too fun to write compared to some university reports I also still have to do lmao

“Nando please!” Stoffel begged. Fernando snorted and patted his cheek.

“You do need it.” he decided. Stoffel groaned.

“B-but…”

“No, need to shave.” Fernando said again. 

“Can’t I do that myself? Kimi really doesn’t need to teach me.” Stoffel whined. Fernando rolled his eyes just as the doorbell rang.

“Too late.”

~~

“Hola Kimi, need to go visit Jenson, will be back later and Stoffel is in the living room.” Fernando said, grabbing his coat while letting the Finn into his apartment. Kimi nodded gruffly and moved past him. 

Stoffel gave Fernando a desperate look, but the Spaniard only blew him a kiss before closing the door behind him.

“Hello Stoffel.” Kimi greeted, folding his arms over his chest. Stoffel squeaked and took a step back. Kimi rolled his eyes and caught the Belgian’s arm, dragging him off to the bathroom. 

“Pierre complained to me.” Kimi said as he started laying out the materials. “Said he did not like your stubble when you....” he shrugged. Stoffel blushed a deep red and fumbled for words. Kimi seemed amused and patted his shoulder.

When Stoffel still didn’t move, Kimi sighed dramatically and squirted some shaving foam onto his hand. He spread it over Stoffel’s cheeks, smirking when the Belgian squeaked again, his eyes wide as he stared at Kimi. 

“Can’t believe all you ‘Cool Dudezz of F1’ are so bad at shaving.” Kimi muttered. Stoffel gasped.

“You know about the group?” he asked. Kimi nodded.

“Pierre’s fault.” he said for good measure, before handing Stoffel a razor. Stoffel huffed and muttered something in Dutch. He brought the razor to his shave, shaving while still cursing Pierre under his breath.

“I thought you two were a couple?” Kimi asked as Stoffel continued to complain under his breath. Stoffel’s hand slipped in shock and he yelped as he cut his chin. Kimi sighed and snatched the razor from him. He quickly finished Stoffel’s other cheek before putting a bandage over the cut on Stoff’s chin.

“All done.” he murmured. “Now, you and Pierre?” he asked as he started clearing his stuff away, knowing Fernando might kill him if he left the bathroom in a mess. Stoffel shrugged.

“We eh… you know… But we’re not a couple.” he claimed. Kimi hummed and shrugged.

“Sure.” 

They both went back into the living room, and just as Kimi got ready to leave, Fernando came back with Jenson in tow. 

Kimi took a step back so the Brit wouldn’t try to hug him, which Jenson did anyways. Fernando took one look at Stoffel and burst out laughing, only making the sour look on Stoff’s face worsen.

“Is really a baby now!” Fernando giggled, walking over to Stoff and squeezing his cheek. Stoffel frowned but still allowed Fernando to hug him. 

“Why Stoffel now? Why not Esteban or Charles first?” Jenson asked Kimi curiously. Kimi shrugged.

“Pierre complained that he didn’t like Stoffel’s stubble when they have s-” 

“Sausages! He doesn’t like my stubble when we eat sausages!” Stoffel blurted out before Kimi could finish his sentence. Jenson snorted and raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

“Yeah I can guess what sausage you’re talking about.” he deadpanned. Fernando meanwhile gasped dramatically, clutching Stoffel’s face between his hands.

“What are you doing with the Honda boy?” he growled. Stoffel swallowed thickly.

“Uhh…” 

Kimi took it as his cue to leave, giving a small wave at the group.

“I have a pup to visit.” he murmured, before closing the door behind him.

~~

A good few hours later, Stoffel finally came online again in the group chat, just as Charles was ready to file a missing person’s report. 

‘Pierre, Nando and Jenson want you to come over for dinner, won’t take no for an answer.’ he typed.

‘O fuck’ Pierre answered. Max send laughing emojis and Esteban send a gravestone.

‘Thanks for the support guys.’ Pierre answered. 

‘Wait, where is Kimi going next?’ Lance asked, adding a lot of anxious looking, wide eyed emojis. 

‘Charles I think’ Stoffel answered immediately.

‘Really? Cool.’ Charles send, followed by a GIF of a cartoon puppy dancing. 

‘WTF Charles, this isn’t something to be happy about!’ Max said. 

‘... but Kimi is nice :3 ‘ Charles answered immediately. The others stayed quiet for a moment, before Pierre spoke up again.

‘Someone wrap Charles in bubble wrap and protect him from his harsh world please.’


	4. Charles Leclerc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out a little more serious that I initially planned, but it's Charles, that asks for some wholesomeness :3
> 
> Who should be next? ;)

“Kimi!” Charles grinned excitedly, leaning in to hug the Finn tightly. Kimi smiled slightly and patted Charles’s back.

“You’re here to teach me how to shave?” Charles asked as he pulled away. Kimi nodded. Charles huffed and shrugged.

“Don’t need it, let’s cuddle instead.” he said with an angelic smile. Kimi raised an eyebrow and pointedly poked the stubble on the Monégasque’s cheek.

“Come on pup.” he chuckled, heading for Charles’s bathroom while ignoring the pout on the younger man’s face.

Charles was still pouting as they stood in front of the sink.

“You need to learn for next season, can’t have you looking shabby in a Ferrari uniform.” the Finn mused. Charles blushed and averted his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered as Kimi dug through his bag to find the bottle of shaving foam and the razors. Kimi blinked.

“What for, Charles?” he asked surprisingly gently as he started to spread the foam onto the younger man’s cheeks. Charles still wouldn’t look up at him, but didn’t pull away.

“I took your seat, no?” Charles whispered. Kimi sighed.

“I don’t blame you for it, Charles. You deserve this chance, and my time is just running out. I accept that.” he whispered. Charles snifled and hugged him tightly, smashing his foamed cheek against Kimi’s shirt. Kimi sighed but gently shushed him, rubbing Charles’s back.

“It’s okay honey, it really is.” he soothed. Charles looked up and winched, trying to wipe the shaving foam of Kimi’s shoulder but only succeeding at spreading it further. 

“Sorry.” he giggled. Kimi fondly ruffled his hair before getting more shaving cream.

“Here.” he said afterwards, giving Charles a razor. Charles sighed shakily and started shaving. Kimi watched him, a small smile playing on his lips. 

Once Charles had finished, Kimi patted some soothing gel onto the young man’s face, before pulling him into another tight hug as Charles’s bottom lip wobbled again, Charles sighing and pressing his face in the crook of Kimi's neck.

“You should probably tell the ‘Best Dudezz of F1’ you’re safe soon, or they’ll worry.” Kimi whispered after a moment. Charles chuckled and cuddled even closer. 

“They always worry about me.” Charles murmured. “They wanted to wrap me up in bubble wrap the other day.” he added. Kimi snorted.

“I kind of approve of that idea though.” he mused. Charles huffed indignantly and pulled away. 

“Not fragile.” he grumbled. Kimi ruffled Charles’s hair.

“Not fragile, precious.” he decided. Charles blushed and scoffed, shyly peeking up at him through his lashes. 

Kimi checked his watch, and this time it was Charles’s turn to raise an eyebrow.

“Who are you going to this time?” he asked. Kimi hummed.

“Maybe Esteban or Lance? Or that new baby from McLaren, Lando, righ?… that reminds me… Carlos? Too many options, no one seems to be able to shave anymore.” Kimi sighed in exasperation and then shrugged, walking over to the door. Charles chuckled and followed after him. 

“Thanks Kimi.” he murmured shyly. Kimi smiled and quickly hugged him another time, pressing a kiss to the man’s forehead.

“No problem, see you later Charles.” he said. Charles smiled.

“Bye Kimi.”

~~ 

Charles quickly added Lando to the group chat, causing the others to get a little confused.

“What is the baby doing here?” Stoffel asked. Lando quickly answered with a middle finger.

“Kimi will go to Lando as well.” Charles explained. “But he will also go to Este or Lance or Carlos.” he added.

“Este, run away to Antarctica with me?” Lance asked promptly. 

“How romantic :3” Stoffel said.

“Can we pick a slightly warmer place? But yes, let’s HIDE.” Esteban answered. 

“Dudes, where is Chili actually? He’s been awfully quiet on here the past few days.” Max remarked.

“Yeah, miss his awful selfies (not) .” Este said. 

“Isn’t he away for the weekend or something?” Charles asked. Before they could continue their discussion, the bubble ‘Carlos is typing’ suddenly popped up.

“Carlos is asleep rn, guess I made him a little tired ;) ~ Nico” was sent to them.

“NO DETAILS THIS TIME PLS” Max immediately answered.

"SAVE US FROM THIS HORROR" Stoffel added.

“...Do I even want to be in this group?” Lando questioned.

“Believe me.” Charles answered. “It’s for the best.”


	5. Valtteri Bottas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ICYMI: Valtteri posted a picture of himself video chatting with his dog (and I'd guess his wife as well xD ) and it was very clear Val had not shaved :0
> 
> So even though I wasn't even planning to add Valtteri to the fic, I kinda had to now :3

*You have been added to the group chat ‘The Cool Dudezzz of F1’* the screen read. Valtteri frowned.

“...What’s going on?” he typed, realising the other members were all F1 drivers.

“You made a mistake posting that pic on your Insta story.” Max said.

“Your dog is adorable though :3 “ Charles added.

“Still confused.” Valtteri told them.

“Kimi is trying to teach us all to shave, and after that photo, we’re pretty sure he’ll come to you.” Stoffel said.

“Way to make it even more dramatic.” Pierre remarked. 

“I’ll be fine, Kimi doesn’t know where I am in England.” Valtteri answered. “Now… which idiot came up with that group name?” 

Before anyone could answer, Carlos send a photo, before quickly deleting it again, but not quickly enough.

“...I guess that was the wrong chat?” Max asked. 

“I would wear clothes if I were you, it’s cold outside.” Valtteri dryly remarked. 

“Pls tell me not everyone saw that.” Carlos asked, followed by a lot of horrified looking emojis. Lando was the next to start typing.

“Can I please unsee this?” he send. Esteban answered immediately.

“It’s been 3 days and we’ve already traumatised that baby, way to go guys!”

~~

“Valtteri, I’m very disappointed in you.” Kimi deadpanned when Valtteri opened the door to his hotel room in England.

“...What?” Val answered in confusion, stumbling a little as Kimi brushed past him and into the room. “Kimi… how did you know I was here?” Valtteri asked, closing the door behind him. Kimi shrugged.

“Not important.” he said, before walking over and poking Valtteri’s cheek, scoffing at the stubble he felt there.

“I thought I had taught you better.” he muttered accusingly. Valtteri still seemed confused about what the hell was going on. 

“How did you find my hotel?” he asked again. Kimi huffed.

“Doesn’t matter.” he repeated again. He caught Valtteri’s wrist and pulled the younger Finn towards the bathroom. 

“I forgot my razors in Finland.” Valtteri explained with a sigh. Kimi tutted and got out the shaving foam. Valtteri quickly snatched the can from Kimi before the older man could decide to put the foam on Val’s cheeks himself. 

“You’re still teaching all the younger ones, huh?” Val asked as Kimi handed him the razor.

“Yeah, you weren’t the only one, although apparently you didn’t listen.” KImi grumbled.

When Valtteri had just joined F1, he had already had to endure one of Kimi”s shaving lessons, and he should indeed have known better than to put a picture of himself on social media where it was clear he hadn’t shaved. Yet at the same time, he didn’t mind too much that Kimi was here.

“Who did you teach so far?” Val asked, before pulling a face as he had to shave his his top lip.

“Max, PIerre, Stoffel and Charles.” Kimi summed up. Valtteri hummed in answer. 

“There are a lot that still need your help though.” he mused. Kimi nodded.

“Yes, so if you can please remember to shave from now on, that’d be great.” He grumbled. Valtteri rolled his eyes and dropped the razor in the sink.

“Done.” he grumbled. Kimi smirked and got out some soothing gel, squirting some onto his hand.

“Come here.” he muttered gesturing Val closer as he raised his hand. Valtteri glared and stepped away.

“No, I’ll do it myself.” he said. Kimi shook his head.

“No you won’t.” he answered, stepping closer again and pressing his hand against Valtteri’s cheek. Valtteri huffed a little grumpily as Kimi spread the gel over his face and galred wholeheartedly when Kimi pinched his cheek. 

“Cute.” Kimi mused.

“Am not.” Valtteri answered shortly. Kimi shrugged and collected his stuff, already heading fo the door again. Kimi turned as he opened the door and gave Val a thoughtful look.

“Maybe you should stop shaving…” he said, an ever so slightly teasing edge to his voice. “Would show those baby cheeks a little less.” 

Valtteri glared but there was no anger in his eyes.

“Just go save the F1 world from bad facial hair, yeah?”

**Author's Note:**

> 'The Cool Dudezz of F1" is definitely a real groupchat for all the babies. XD


End file.
